Skip to content


115 Apple Creek Blvd, Unit 205 Markham, ON L3R 6C9

Dealing with a Narcissist During the Holidays: Understanding Their Behavior and Protecting Your Mental Health

In this article, we will explore the various behaviors that narcissists are prone to during the holiday season, and provide you with some effective strategies in dealing with a narcissist during the holidays to protect your mental health during this often challenging time.

The holiday season, filled with joy and love, can quickly turn into a stressful period when a narcissist is involved. Dealing with a narcissist during the holidays means dealing with their unpredictable behavior, excessive need for attention, and propensity for creating drama, often resulting in a tension-filled festive season.

Dealing with a narcissist during the holidays can be challenging and emotionally draining. These individuals have a constant craving for attention and will go to great lengths to ensure the focus remains on them. Family gatherings become a stage on which they perform, seeking to gain their much-needed supply at your expense. Instead of creating a joyous atmosphere, they manipulate situations to ensure weeks of shaming and guilting, even when you did everything right. Furthermore, narcissists may use family gatherings as an opportunity to undermine and isolate you from your loved ones. Their tactics may include making you look and feel crazy in front of family and friends. In order to protect your mental health, it is important to understand their behavior and implement strategies to maintain your well-being during the holiday season.

Indeed, celebrating the holidays with narcissists can be like navigating a minefield. You never know if they will trigger an argument or insult, turning a peaceful gathering into a sour one. Their need for constant admiration and validation can be exhausting and may result in you emotionally drained. Understanding how they operate is the first step in mitigating their negative influence.

These individuals are often devoid of empathy and are unable to care about else’s feelings or needs. They will ruin the festive atmosphere without a second thought if it helps them maintain their narcissistic supply.

The Craving for Attention

The distinctive characteristics of narcissists such as arrogance, a sense of entitlement, exploitation of others, and lack of empathy often become more pronounced during festive occasions. Their seemingly charming personality can quickly turn into an individual who is bent on ruining the celebratory spirit for their personal gain.

When dealing with narcissists during the holidays, it’s crucial to recognize their insatiable need for attention. They will manipulate conversations and situations to make sure they are the center of attention. This behavior can be mentally draining for family members who are just trying to enjoy the holiday season. 

To counter this, you might need to become more assertive and firm in your communication. Don’t let your guard down and don’t allow actions to disrupt your peace.

The constant need for attention can have a significant impact on your mental health. It’s important to set boundaries with the narcissist to protect your well-being. 

In addition, narcissists crave constant recognition. They feel entitled to praise and cannot handle others receiving attention, even for a moment. This leads to continually draw attention to themselves, often with exaggerated tales of their accomplishments or sob stories designed to elicit sympathy.

They might exaggerate stories, lie about achievements, or even play the victim to get the sympathy and attention they crave. It’s a constant game where the rules are made by them and for their benefit.

However, it’s equally important to remember that not all interactions with narcissists are negative. It’s possible to have meaningful, albeit complicated, relationships with them, especially when you are equipped with the right knowledge and tactics.

Having someone you trust at these gatherings can be immensely helpful. They can provide reassurance, verify your realities, and offer emotional support when you’re dealing with the narcissist’s tactics.

Family Gatherings as an Audience

Their guilt trips and shaming can be so subtle that it can take you a while to realize that you’ve been manipulated. They have a unique capacity to make you feel guilty and wrong even when you’re not at fault.

Developing self-compassion and learning to distinguish between legitimate feedback and narcissistic manipulation can aid in warding off their shaming tactics.

Narcissists view family gatherings as opportunities to siphon off emotional supply from others. They may use these occasions to project their own insecurities and faults onto you, which can be emotionally draining and damaging. 

They use these tactics to make you doubt your worth and likability. By turning others against you, they make you more dependent on their validation and control.

Remember that their efforts to manipulate and control the situation are not a reflection of your self-worth. By understanding their behaviors and patterns, you can better protect yourself and maintain a healthy emotional state.

Remember to not isolate yourself. Despite their manipulation, try to maintain your close relationships. Open communication can clear misconceptions and reveal the narcissist’s manipulation to others as well.

Dealing with this type of manipulation requires resilience and a good understanding of the narcissist’s tactics. Having a support network or seeking professional help can be beneficial in these situations. 

The most effective way to handle a narcissist’s shaming and guilting is by maintaining a firm grasp on your self-esteem and not allowing their manipulation tactics to get the better of you.

Shaming and Guilting

By being assertive and grounded in your realities, you can safeguard yourself against this insidious form of manipulation. Trust your observations, and validate your experiences and feelings.

It is crucial, however, to remember that their criticism and blame-shifting isn’t a reflection of your worth or competence. They manipulate the truth to construct a reality that suits their narrative and maintains their superior position.

Narcissists often resort to shaming and guilting to maintain control and power during celebrations. They tend to criticize others, often blaming them for any mishaps, even when you did everything correctly.

They aim to diminish your self-worth and make you feel guilty for things that are not your fault. However, it’s important to remember that their words are a reflection of their own insecurities, not your failures.

In worst-case scenarios, they may even resort to character assassination or slander to isolate you. They do this to enhance their control and to keep you emotionally dependent on them.

In the light of their behavior, consider creating a self-care strategy that aids your emotional well-being. This might include practices like mindfulness, meditation, or spending time doing things you love. 

It’s essential to safeguard your mental health amidst such criticism. This involves standing up for yourself, setting boundaries, and seeking support when needed.

Undermining and Isolation

Narcissists can masterfully engineer situations where you’re painted as the villain, while they play the innocent victim. It’s crucial to recognize these harmful behaviors and address them assertively.

In such situations, maintaining clear and open communication with your loved ones can mitigate the effects of the narcissist’s manipulation. Sharing your experiences can help to clear misconceptions and provide you with much-needed support.

Narcissists can use family gatherings to undermine and isolate you. They may spread rumors or create situations to make you feel alienated from your loved ones.

To maintain your connection with your family, it’s important to communicate openly about the narcissist’s behavior and seek support from trusted family members or friends.

Gaslighting in Front of Others

Gaslighting is another common tactic used by narcissists. This involves distorting reality to make you question your perceptions and feel crazy.

Assertive communication techniques can be effective in countering gaslighting. This includes speaking up about your experiences and feelings and seeking validation from others.

Dealing with a Narcissist During the Holidays

In conclusion, dealing with a narcissist during the holiday season requires resilience, a clear understanding of their manipulative ways, and most importantly, self-care. Having a support network can be invaluable in such circumstances. Taking care of your mental health and ensuring you have a happy holiday, despite the presence of a narcissist, should be your priority.

Keep in mind, you are worthy of love, joy, and peace – and no narcissist should be allowed to steal that from you. Equip yourself with the right set of tools, and you can ensure that your holidays aren’t hijacked by a narcissist’s disruptive behavior.

Protecting your mental health and well-being during the holidays when dealing with a narcissist is crucial. Understand their behavior, set firm boundaries, and seek support when needed. Remember, the holiday season is a time for joy and peace, and you deserve to enjoy it fully.


Please let us know if you found this blog article interesting or helpful, or ideas for future articles.

Email any questions or comments.

For more information on services please contact Four Seasons Counselling at


Similar Articles