Serving in Vaughan, ON
Couples & Relationships Counselling in Vaughan
Let us help you rediscover the love and emotion you once both enjoyed in your romantic or marital relationship
Heres’s how we
Relationships Form the Foundation Upon Which We Build Our Lives
While relationships begin with love, infatuation, and attraction, making a relationship last takes time, commitment and understanding. Our mission is to help you move through the phases of life, just like the seasons, with the support you need to love your life.
This is what we can
Online & In-Person
Comprehensive care: Our offerings include Narcissistic Abuse Therapy, DBT, EFT, and Mindfulness care. Tailored treatment options for your holistic well-being and personalized growth.
Couples Counselling Can Help You reconnect, set boundaries and rebuild trust.
The Five Love Languages (Gary Chapman)
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service (Devotion)
- Physical Touch
What makes a person’s eyes light up? In what way can one effectively communicate to the other, how one feels about the other. We can learn about a person’s love language by the way they express their feelings to you.
- Empathy vs Sympathy: Put yourself in their shoes (with their experiences)
- Remember that what you would want, and need is not necessarily what your partner wants and needs
- Allow yourself to listen as if your only job is to understand
- Think of three alternate reasons your partner may be feeling/acting the way they are
- Overexplaining – if somebody asks a question or asks you to do something and you explain it at nauseam, it can get to the point where it feels condescending. Ask questions, if needed, and allow the other to be empowered.
- Being vague – the more specific you can be, the less likely there is any misunderstandings. Statements that are vague allow for misinterpretations or wrongful assumptions as everyone sees things differently.
- Mind reading/Assuming – “You always want….” can be an assumption.
- Distractions – if one is preoccupied with something during a conversation or has other distractions (e.g., TV on) this can create a barrier to the discussion, and you can’t see the non-verbal’s if you aren’t’ listening.
- “You” driven language – “you make me do this”, “you did this when….”. Starting out with “I” driven language so that you own what’s going on instead of putting the other person on the defensive. Using “You” driven language can be helpful when one is tuning into how the other person is presenting e.g. “You seem a bit down today”. This is not going to put the other person on the defensive. Using “I feel ___ when…” shows that you are expressing the impact, rather than accusing.
- Universal statements – “Always”, “Never”. Looking for exceptions. As humans we very rarely “always” or “never” do something every time. Terms like, “seems”, “sometimes”, “frequently”, “allows” for more diplomacy.
- Blaming – when one blames the other for everything, it does not allow for the other to take responsibility for their part in it. It takes two to tango. What was each person’s part in the issue?
Only noting the negative – in some relationships, the only time someone says something, it is when something goes wrong. There is time for constructive feedback, but also acknowledging the good stuff also. Trying to be as frequent with the positive than the negative (2:1 ratio ideally).
Sweetening your relationship | Moments to get the spontaneous smiles
- Create a win/win
- Compromise based on priorities and needs
- Compromise between extroverts and introverts
- Compromise between detail oriented and big picture people
- Compromise between rationally focused vs emotionally focused individuals
- Compromise between structured vs spontaneous people
Giving emotional support
- Not everyone is comfortable with feeling words but they it can be shown through actions
- Don’t assume you know why someone feels a certain way.
- Ask what someone’s process is to deal with their stress or upset
Being more thoughtful
- Pay attention and ask what your partner likes and does not like
- Do things you don’t want to do
- Keeping a running list of gift ideas
- Write sweet notes or texts or just thank you’s
- Remember important dates
- Truly listen to what your partner has to say
- Be there during tough times, even if you’re busy
- Start some personal rituals for the two of you: Daily, Weekly, Annually
Having a neutral third party can help get the discussion started and provide the opportunity to uncover assumptions, biases, and at times help give voice to some of the difficult discussions that need to happen to move to healthier discussions.
How does therapy work?
Ready for change
Being ready for change means embracing uncertainty and growth. It requires courage, commitment, and openness to new possibilities. Embrace the journey and trust in your ability to navigate through challenges, knowing that each step forward brings you closer to personal transformation and fulfillment.
In order to work out your current situation, we help you set goals and an action plan to achieve those goals. We help you challenge yourself, leave your comfort zone and achieve the goals you set, devising strategies & helping develop the skills you need as you go.
We help keep you accountable to the goals you set. Self-improvement journeys typically involve a lot of hard work, emotional discussions and sometimes tough decisions. We’ll support you every step the way. We’re gentle, but we’re also honest.
The work doesn’t stop once you achieve your goals. Your relationship with yourself & others, your life situation, job and other factors will continually evolve. We’ll help you develop the mindset, awareness and skillset to avoid or, if necessary, deal with future challenges.
Mun Yee Lee
Start Changing Your Season Today
Our mission is to help move you through these phases of life, just like the seasons, to a place of calm and acceptance.
If you are ready to discover, explore & move forward, we are ready to help.